Inside The Fourth - Chapter 7
There must have been about 3 or 4 of 'em. Maybe even 5. I cant really remember. Dont... really - want to remember.. But Anyway, I must, O Blog Master, oh horror of horrors. How can I say this? Second time on the stage & I forgot my lines. There, its out. Its taken me 2 weeks.
I'd spent all morning memorizing. Didn't really have to; I mean, it was my latest poem, therefore it was my best poem. I even went to the Urbis event without my sheets. I'd memorized not one but two poems! After all, Segun had said seven minutes...
I meant to track them down with my 'We of No Name'. Encircle 'em. Pick out the weakest one & fix my eyes on him. I meant to surprise them then, with my 'Invisible Man'. Chase them like prey & jump on their backs, break their necks & leave their chests torn open.
Segun checked me as the guy before me went on stage. I nodded confidently, scrolling the poem on my phone; I knew the lines. The stage-time had been reduced from 7 minutes to 3 but that was still enough for me to track & trace the audience with The Invisible Man.
The poet read his last poem. Segun started his mini-introduction - I started my walk towards the stage, eye on the microphone.
The crowd clapped & then waited. I looked at them, at the microphone - I'd never felt such - clarity... I blurted out the first few lines [Projection! Projection!] & then... My mind - as clear as a cloudless sky - No words, not even the condensed vapor of them. That was the first silence.
I found my way again after some time but I'm sure I skipped at four lines of my poem [I cant really remember. Dont... really - want to remember..] And then - silence again, and again and again. I wanted to die. I wanted jump into the microphone and travel down the cables & reform myself outside; somewhere far, far away...
The rest of it is a blur. I could see it clearly if I wore my specs but I really dont - want - to do that.
The sheets of the poems I failed to recite are still at exactly the same site I left them that fateful morning as I made my way out to Urbis. They're a blemish upon my sight, can bear to even look at them.
But the show must go on, the fight must continue. So bring on the next event...
Which brings me to this here piece of inspiration that came to me in the bath the other day - I wrote it for a certain dictatorial regime that supresses freedom of speech. As I wrote, something came on the News about the so-called regime changing its ways and there it was again - Wordlessness. Anyway, what do you guys think of this; potential or recycle bin?
Untitled
Yes we’ll – take our pens and – scribble on scrolls
We’ll – wring our souls of all protest and dissent
When you – take away our pens and – burn our paper
We’ll – wait till you’ve left and – start again
As long as we have fingers we’ll – write on the soil
When your – trucks run over our notes and – leave your mark
We’ll – take to the trees and – write on the bark
If you – cut down the trees we’ll – look for something else
You can – kill the writers but you’ll – never kill the writing
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Comments
Hey Gift, I echo what Ben
Hey Gift, I echo what Ben said. But I would like to add one thing: audiences will never know that you forgot your poem, unless you let them know. The most important skill for a performer is how to bluff. For all they know, you could have added/deleted lines as your muse directed. At the Urbis gig, your poem was by far the best work and, although you have rough edges as a performer (dont we all?), your delivery was clear and intense. I thought you were great. So there you go!
Hey Gift, I'd like to echo
Hey Gift, I'd like to echo Pete's comments about your poem, excellent beginning, don't even think of binning it! Very powerful, simple and clear. Nice one.
As for drying, yeah happens to everyone, but it happens less the more experience you get. The more events you go to, the more you see other people do it too, so it seems less of a big thing. I find it best if you can relax at the moment you forget the next line, instead of panicking which freezes you up. Easier said than done of course! Also repeating the last line to get you back into your flow often works, and sometimes the audience don't even notice, just think you're being artistic...
As far as paper vs no paper goes, I personally feel it's important for me to memorise my work, as hand gestures and eye contact are essential to my delivery and paper hampers that. That said, as Pete mentions, there are some brilliant poets I've seen read from their books, the great LKJ being a good example. And maybe if I wrote as much as I'd like to I'd find it hard remembering it all - having to read from paper may indicate a poet's prolificness! But if you prefer to be paper-free, best advice is practice, and relax. Hope to see you read in person soon anyway though, sounds like you have a blooming talent.
poem, performance
The poem you have posted is brilliant. (Reminds me of an anti-apartheid poem I wrote back in the mists of time, but thats another story!) On performance, well, it happens to us all. I for one am not brave enough even to attempt to read without the poem on a piece of paper in front of me! I sometimes think too much weight is placed on the absence of paper. I watched Lemn Sissay over 7 years perform probably 150 times and generally he would have reams of paper. Soemtimes he'd read from the sheets, sometimes not. Maybe Ben Mellor -poetry slam champ - can give you some tips? -pete