Household Gods
Here's my attempt to 'praise' some household objects... In my typical fashion I let the thoughts get skewed. Wud luv to know immediate reactions and ideas for improvements. -Eileen
Household Gods
I
The Washing Machine
gurgles tabula rasa, with the countenance
of a house priest. Constantly forgiving
the dirt that accompanies living. Confessions
and hymns are washed words strung into lines.
Allow the gust to have its way, open lives
at the folds. In an effort of air everything is shown.
II
The Dust Bin
stands dutiful, locked outside to the night winds.
It is full of discard, wrapped black, odd as suspicion.
This body of a drum is beating, creeping into sleep,
grumbling against the door, interfering in the dream. Leave
the eyes open only at the slits, do not address the visiting figurine.
Lie cold as winter glass; stay calm as digits on the pillowside alarm.
III
The Iron
faces the wall, like a symbol of peace. But nothing
knows submission like creased white pleats.
Good times have strict lines. Risk love on settings
too high: unbuttoned shirt, spread skirt, a bed sheet
over the edge. Limp yet waiting for spit and heat.
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Comments
Great work! U make good use
Great work! U make good use of enjambment, ie line endings running to next line. I esp like the title into the 1st line of each stanza. Very inventive similes esp "calm as digits on the pillowside alarm", "odd as suspicion". Curious to know what the "visiting figurine" is. And not certain that I get "In an effort of air everything is shown." But the images were so vivid & stimulating that strict interpretation is not essential for enjoyment.
Household Gods
fantastic imagery in all 3 poems. The washing machine as a priest 'gurgles tabula rasa' what a beautiful line.
Love the originality of all these pieces. The bin is almost like a bad nightmare insisting on entering your dreams.
don't really get the iron as a 'symbol of peace' but love
the rest of the poem-so much imagery in so few words.
Secret Lives
Cant get the words 'tabula rasa' out of my head. What do they mean? They're so....nice.
The washing machine stanza is my favourite. The moment I read the tabula rasa line, I started paying attention; and then confessions, the dirt we gather as we accumulate years; everything becomes undone in the washing machine and is eventually hung out to dry....
Almost like a priest, thought I'm not too sure about the hnaging out to dry bit. But I love the washing machine. & then there's something about the Iron and the strict lines that is also being undone and hung out to dry; the unbuttoned shirt, spread skirt etc.
I could, and will, read this over and over again.
Tabula rasa.....wow.
G
Tabula Rasa - Latin: scraped tablet or clean slate
G
Thanks for that really lovely review of the poems. Yes, I really enjoy Tabula Rasa on the tongue as well, I do feel something about it is like an incantation... conceptually it really pleases me!
I've amended these since I posted them, as I am trying really hard to use this course as a vehicle for new writing - I'm just writing stuff and putting it out in order to push!!!!
You are right to touch on the clumsiness of the hung out to dry part in 'The Washing Machine' - I've changed it slightly, and changed 'symbol of peace' in Iron, following Pete's observations.
But I've kept: Good times have strict lines!!! Nice to have someone else understand what that's all about.
-eileen
household gods
Loved the pun of Goods/Gods in the title for the three. The Washing Machine poem, with religious imagery, sin and confession, and antique language to match (tabula rasa, countenance') is great and perhaps most complete of the 3, for me. The spooky 'Dust bin' dramatic and weird, 'The Iron' evokes danger and passion. In Iron, 'symbol of peace' is awkward for me, and i wanted to argue with the logic within the poem of 'Good times have strict lines'; in The Dust Bin, 'full of discard' feels awkward. Not sure about numberings or layout. In sum, 3 cracking poems!
Washer joys
I know that the washing machine is worthy of praise, its brought many a smile to a woman's face and inches off her hips!