After The Funk NEW
Sat, 30/01/2010 - 13:18 — Nadrock
Serenity comes a-callin,
His spirit relaxed,
Eyes light, open with ease
In the wake of past fatigue.
He rises to begin his day,
As usual, toast and coffee
His order of the moment.
Head lighter than yesterday,
Meds kickin' in,
The torpor of recent days
Displaced, alert at last.
Recovery has begun.
Walking nonchalantly
In the January bite,
Down to the river,
Stagnant waters
Allow time for reflection.
Sitting on the bank,
Drinking hot coffee,
Easing into recuperation once more.
Body temperature rising,
Hands relaxing around the cup.
He hasn't felt this well in days,
The path back to normality
Finally in his grasp.
(c) NZ 2010.
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Comments
i see your work as being in
i see your work as being in stage two of a poet's development, which is creativity with more awareness of the reader. Good to see more specifics and less vagueness. Great . Could you choose something else instead of body temperature and describe the cup?
a highly effective
poem Nadrock, and as usual I want to pluck a few lines from it to allow it to breathe a little more. If we cut 'Recovery has begun' and 'nonchlantly' (I dont think its nonchlantly how he walks but anyway no need for an adjective there) Indeed could actually make it much sparse, and it would still work brilliantly ie cut all 'allow time for reflection' and easing into recuperation' cos we can figure this out fromt he description of the man and the river?? - like Hemmingway does. eg Loved 'the January bite'.
After The Funk
I've literally just written this in the last 15 to 20 minutes. I know I haven't blogged for about 3 months or so but work has been incredibly busy and my family have been having quite a traumatic time with illness in the last year. I too haven't been very well recently and I'm just beginning to recover from quite a serious spell of exhaustion and fatigue. I wanted to try and capture that point you get to when you're just beginning to recover from any illness and how your body and mind feel at that time.
All comments welcome as always,
Nadeem