Hat Check
Wed, 09/06/2010 - 08:00 — Pete Kalu
In my dream, I couldn’t find my coat
I walked back along all the streets we’d been.
Charles Aznavour showed up, ready to croak
I said va t’enculer Chaz, go gargle Listerine
or at least look. We searched street after street
People sat and laughed at us. The road was awash
with puppies, some of which became my feet.
I gave up, sat, Chaz got going with his lyrical cosh.
Then not only you roll up in this ridiculous pink Allegro.
You step out, wearing my coat. Damn. You wear it well well.
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Comments
perfectly formed and
perfectly formed and constructed. Really like this.
beg and end
Thanks Nabila. Not sure about title, - or about the end ('well-well' is kind of Nigerian slang, tho have heard in Jamaica, but may just look like a typo and no context for that meaning. Also 4 then 4 then 2 lines - toyed with 4 4 4 instead or with rhyming last two lines! ) -Pete
title is ok4, 4, 2 works
title is ok
4, 4, 2 works well
did stumble and think lots about the last two words and I think it is good to leave it as it is because it makes the reader work
Maybe: well, well or well;well ?? This would certainly help to contextualise it
I think you should enter / submit this somewhere .