Commonword Blogs

Reading the poem a few questions/points sprung to mind.

Stanza 1

At midnight are there shadows, or is the ‘midnight wood’ not indicative of time?

If it is indicative of time then the time frame of the poem is midnight, dusk, dawn. The narrative, however, implies linearity.

Stanzas 2 & 3

Dusk transformed into a tigress, gaining agency. However, in stanza 3 it is the waters and not the dawn which has agency. If the dawn itself was doing the washing, then the dawn would not only signify time and change but would itself be the agent of change

If made the dawn the agent then whole poem would become more interesting as in first two stanzas grace is given animal form, which is a kind of animistic transformation into early metaphor. The transformation of grace into dawn would be an even earlier metaphor, a protosymbol given greater power and resonance by the association with water (many creation myths begin with a vast expanse of water).

Stanza 4

Like the first line. Interesting that in the second line the word is 'chest'.

Rhythym

On a different note, the change of rhythm in lines 11 and 12 works well, physically moving the sense from death to giggles through its lightness.

The change of rhythm in lines 6, 7 and 8 for me works less well. Six front stressed words (/*) plus the heavy stress of dusk and teeth and the sudden change to an unstressed stressed rhythm feels uncomfortable.

With a little editing I like the poem.