This is one of my praise poems, appreciate comments. Wrote for my sis.
Mon, 10/03/2008 - 15:00 — Yvonne
MY SISTER
SIBLING
my sister is a lagoon
a rippling counterpart
of erudite serenity
on Moon struck waters
phospherescent ribbons mirroring
the luminosity
of her smile
2008 Yvonne Mc Calla
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Comments
My Sister
I dont know if I could get away with calling any of my own sisters 'a lagoon' - but I love that metaphor and such a striking image at the very beginning of the poem. I'm strangely uncertain about the rest of the poem: perhaps its the word 'counterpart' that throws me..?